


12x03 coda

by mishackles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12.03 coda, 12x03 Coda, Coda, M/M, basically dean is sad and im sad so now cas is going to talk to him and make him feel better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 11:43:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8400373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mishackles/pseuds/mishackles
Summary: Dean is upset that his mom has left and goes to drink alone in the kitchen. That's when Cas comes home.





	

It was dumb. He was being dumb, he knew that. It had been stupid to get his hopes up that he would really have his mom back. It’d been downright idiotic to allow that hope to grow inside him. Now it's been ripped out and his chest feels empty and hollow. 

Dean sits at the kitchen table nursing a bottle in his hands, staring at the empty space across from him. Sam had quietly mumbled something about getting some rest not long after Mary left and has been in his room since. Leaving Dean alone with his thoughts. He laughs bitterly. “Always alone,” he mutters to the kitchen. 

It's strange, he thinks. He’s always felt at home in kitchens. Probably because some of his only memories with his mom were in the kitchen. He had learned to cook as a kid mostly out necessity, having to feed Sam and all, but also because it was one of the few times he could feel close to his mom. Turns out that was nothing but a lie he told himself. 

Of course, Mary wanted to leave. She didn’t have an obligation to him or Sam. They were both grown men. Dean didn’t blame her, not really. He blamed himself. Mary didn’t sign up for two grown children. She wanted her four-year-old back. Dean wasn’t him anymore. He wasn’t good enough. He hadn’t been enough and now she was gone. Nice going, Dean. 

Amara had wanted to give Dean what he needed, and she did. He had his mom back. Funny thing is, Amara hadn’t anticipated that Mary wouldn’t need him back. 

He drains the rest of his beer and sighs. That was the last of the six pack he’d bought yesterday. He considers getting up and trying to find something a little stronger when he hears someone coming towards the kitchen. 

“Hello,” Cas says when he rounds the corner. He scans the room quickly. “Where are Sam and your mother?” Cas ask his brow pinching together. He glances over his shoulder. “I just came from the library I assumed-“

“Sam’s in his room,” Dean cuts him off. He takes a breath forcing the air not to catch in his throat and runs a hand through his hair. “And, uh, Mom is,” he clears his throat. “Mom's gone.” 

Cas tilts his head slightly. “Gone?” He asks, clearly wanting more answers. “Gone on what? A hunt?”

“I don’t know! Gone! She’s gone! She just up and left,” Dean says in a rush. It comes out harsh and angry. Shit, and now he’s taking his own failure out on Cas. Really batting a thousand tonight Dean-o. 

“I’m sorry,” Dean sighs. “She just,” he looks up at Cas, still standing in the doorway, “left. Said this wasn’t her home. That she missed Dad and Sam and me. You know, us as kids. And then she left.” Dean’s gaze drops and he starts to fiddle upturned corner of the beer bottle label. 

It's quite for a long time until Cas moves into the kitchen to take the empty seat across from Dean. “Well,” Cas says, “I can’t say I’m surprised.” 

A harsh laugh escapes Dean. “Of course you get it. You’ve left enough times.” He immediately regrets saying it. 

Cas looks at Dean for a drawn out minute. “Your mother loves you, Dean.”

Dean shakes his head, refusing to meet Castiel’s eyes. “She loves four-year-old me. She doesn’t know _me_ me.”

“She will. She’ll ‘find her sea legs.’ Give it time,” The idiom is awkward coming out of Cas’s mouth but his tone is sincere. “She’ll get to know you. The now you,” Dean looks up at Cas. His face is taut and serious but there’s a gentle smile in his eyes. “She’ll love that you too. Trust me.” 

Dean attempts a smile. “Thanks,” He looks down, embarrassed. “Sorry about” he gestures vaguely. Cas looks confused so he continues. “I know you only leave because you have to. You’ve got your own problems, and it’d be selfish to ask you to stay. I’m just,” He pauses for a moment. “I’m tired of people leaving.” 

Cas reaches across the table and takes both of Dean’s hands in his, “Ask me.”

“What?” Dean’s lost.

“Ask me to stay,” Cas presses urgently. 

Dean shifts uncomfortably, “Cas, I don’t-.” But Cas fixes him with a glare that lets Dean know he isn’t messing around. He sighs. “Er- um. Car or, uh, Castiel.” He starts awkwardly.

“Yes, Dean?” Cas says in a conversational tone that makes Dean roll his eyes. 

“Man,” Dean sighs, “this is stupid.”

“ _Dean,_ ” Cas warns. 

“OK! Ok fine! Will you stay?” Dean says in a rush. “With me, I mean.” He lets out a shaky breath, and then softly, “Please stay.”

Cas’s lips quirk up slightly, “No.”

“Wh-what?” Dean sputters.

Cas shushes him. “I can’t promise that, but I promise to always come back,” he explains. “I will always come back to you. I’ll always come home. I swear it.”

Home. This is Cas’s home. Here with Dean and Sam. He’s struggled, left, and gotten lost so many times but at the end of the day, he’s learned this is where he belongs. This is where he’s loved.

“Thank you,” Dean says, voice breaking. He looks at Cas, hopeful, “Will you stay tonight?”

Cas squeezes Dean’s hands, “Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> i'm mishackles on tumblr


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